Coleman and the Ciaran - Part 2 - The room that hath all the correct number of tables and chairs but a lack of windows

Anything written after this section is part of the intended humour. Any disclaimers or legal references are neither real or factual. Thank you.

Disclaimer;

The ideas in this story are not based upon any real persons and are intended for the purpose of entertainment only. Any similarities between real people and the characters in this story are coincidental and not intended by the author. Despite appearances and constant use of “he” and “him” the author originally intended the character of Coleman as a female. However, he would like to leave the gender of Coleman and his age up to the reader.

Coleman and the Ciaran

Part 2 - The room that hath all the correct number of tables and chairs but a lack of windows

Ciaran became progressively less drunk and alcohol dependent as time passed and lived happily knowing that he had Zoe by his side. Despite occasional lapses Ciaran scarcely thought of his past life…one that could have been shared with Coleman. However, it was one of these so called “lapses” that almost led his downfall. Bang…FLASHBACK.

Precisely 6.3 issues of Cosmo (all rights reserved) passed since Ciaran had found Zoe and turned his life around. He was no longer a dangerously depressed drunk and had been transformed into a slightly unhappy heavy drinker. This change was remarked at by many; “Ciaran! You’re walking again! Congratulations!” and “well done you made it up those stairs after only three tries, I’m impressed!” were the common phrases that would reach Ciarans slightly alcoholic ears on a semi regular basis. Despite this impressive progress in Ciarans social standing and love life it did not take much to drop him back into a dark and deadly hole…with only one ladder…which had only two rungs (Yeah, get out of that one fatty).

It was a Thursday, Ciaran and Zoe had completed their morning ritual and promptly departed to their separate destinations; Physics and an “ology” respectively. Ciaran was looking forward to physics because Mr Thomas Haye (renowned politician and teacher) allowed him to drink alcohol if he got an answer correct. For obvious reasons Ciaran never managed to find an answer that was suitable to the questions being asked and so, was never allowed to drink but memory is what memory is and Ciaran never seemed to generate the capacity to retain this fact. On entering the room, that hath all the correct number of furnishings but a distinct lack of windows, Ciaran came across Coleman and Thomas Haye engaging in a heated discussion about the merits and demerits of multi-coloured ties, a highly debated subject in the press at that time. For a reason unknown to even Ciaran himself he felt compelled to join and add his point of view into the discussion; “Wear art thou multi coloured ties and all sense of fashion is deemed be lost, yet if thee is to wear thou two tone tie then dignity is to remain” Ciaran drunkenly dejected into conversation. To this Coleman turned and replied “fuck off you blithering idiot” this was seconded by many of his classmates who found it with in themselves to cry out “hear hear” and “you go girl”. A sudden look of longing materialised on Ciarans face as he stared deep into Colemans eyes; “Coleman, my love for you still remains in the depths of my badly repaired heart” he said “can you not see the pain you caused?”. To this Coleman did not even grace him with words and planted a firm kick to balls. Ciaran collapsed to the floor and started to sob. Tears rolled down his face like beads of water on something very unsightly (yeah ugly…what you going to do?). His sobs turned to yells of pain as he realised his love for Coleman still remained and further still shall not be requited. Ciaran fled from the classroom clutching his Bottle in a drunken, painful and emotionally wrecked stupor.

Ciaran was to be later found on a bench. He realised that his lapse of uncontrolled feelings was to be blamed on the lack of drink he had that morning leading to an imbalanced state of mind. He used this to tell himself that he did not love Coleman anymore and that was the alcohol, or the lack of it, talking. He searched high and…well, somewhere between low and medium height, for Zoe and eventually found her slacking, as usual, in the pub. He told her that he had made a grave mistake but it was all okay now and from now on everything is going to be a lot better and involve a lot more alcohol. “YAY” Zoe energetically replied and jumped around a bit before busily returning to her previous state of being slackfull. They were both feeling happy (albeit for different reasons) sat in the pub for Ciaran had his alcohol and Zoe had her Ciaran.

Read next whenevers issue for another instalment of; Coleman and the Ciaran.